so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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