Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
In America we eat man semen.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
