Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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