i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
