Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
