I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
