i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
