Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
