I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
