I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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