i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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