oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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