I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
