Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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