dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
