we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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