Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
