is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
