genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize