woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
