i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
