wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I party with great urgency now.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
