I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
