did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
