People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
