Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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