PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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