its not stalking. its research.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
