Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
