hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
