i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My vagina just clenched in fear
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
