Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
