were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
