White coat. Heels.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize