I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
