i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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