Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
