you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
