this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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