Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
