She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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