two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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