New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
