census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
