I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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