well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
