Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
