She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
