Can i not drive my cunt home
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Randomize
