now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
