so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
