Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
