My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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