dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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