You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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