My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
