Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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