he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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