Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
