It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
