Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
