what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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