ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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