remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
