need another drink. this is the easiest way
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize