just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
